Scumbag Synapses

Being in a relationship is sort of like being a prisoner and a guard all the time. Constantly performing bed checks and cavity searches while at the same time being scrutinized by your “soul-mate”/ e-mail spy. A constant power struggle over control of the choices of video entertainment and dining experiences. A never ending cycle of disagreements over important things such as colours, the year an event occurred, or whether something was in fact funny.

And love is very much like God. In that it doesn’t really exist. Science has shown that it really can be all boiled down to certain parts of you brain releasing certain chemicals as a response to interaction with another human being. This news, although usually dismissed by the happily coupled, is very empowering to the recently dumped. There is raw empirical data proving that if someone rips your heart out of your chest and makes you feel like you can never love again or trust again that you will always be able to find another human who can make your brain release those chemicals. 🙂

With so many things these days being so technologically advanced I’m starting to wonder why these inventions never took place:

  • Digital butter churn
  • Smartphone/ Ear-hair trimmer
  • Lethal penny projectile weapon
  • Jam in ketchup packets
  • Bras with pockets
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