Sloth

I’ve been quite sick with a cold, and other than killing zombies on video games and watching stand up comedy online I’ve not really been doing much of anything. Kids are at their mothers’ houses, spouse is busy with meeting my every sickly demand… life is good. If only I were well enough to enjoy it.

Being sick is like being lazy-enabled. People tell you to rest more and to lay back and drink fluids. It’s like a vacation featuring nausea and mucus.

REQUIRED ITEMS FOR ANY ILLNESS:

  • Carmex
  • Kleenexes (with the lotion)
  • Vick’s inhaler
  • Zombie killing entertainment device or actual zombies and loaded shotgun (not for beginners)
  • Dependable Internet Connection
  • Endless supply of Facebook Memes to post every hour on the hour to coax likes and comments from friends and family to mimic real human interaction
  • Medicinal Marijuana or Orange Juice with NO PULP
  • Stand Up Comedy

NEWSFLASH: My mother who is in her mid-fifties (and is known to be the best mother anyone has ever had) called me last night to tell me that Obama had openly endorsed gay marriage in an interview (I don’t have cable so I usually have to poke around online before I find that shit out). She was right pleased. It’s so good to know that so many people in so many different situations are able to see that we’re all just people and not care about who someone wants to marry. Good on Obama, too, I guess, but his opinion really isn’t as important as my mom’s. 🙂

–It might seem that my newsflash isn’t really related, but Obama’s “evolution” on his thoughts on gay marriage is very fitting with laziness. He’s taken four years to get around to an opinion that I’m pretty certain a black man his age with his education already held. Obama’s policies need to back up his personal convictions should he see a second term, he should stop allowing states to decide human rights for minorities by majority vote. It’s insanity. Where would black slaves from Texas be if that’s how stuff worked? UGH!

Hypocrisy + Insanity – Logic = America.

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