The Meaning Of Life – PART III – ACADEMIC & SOCIAL FAILURES

This part of life spans from the age of about four-and-a-half to eight-teen or so. These years are mostly enjoyable for the first few years (ages four to twelve or so) before we become aware of ourselves socially and care about our performances academically. The latter few years are typically spent trying to commit or deter sex acts depending on your gender. So far this applies in the third world for the most part, too.

First World Problems:

  • Falling asleep in front of a TV with the sound up slightly too loud when the remote is out of reach.
  • Caring for your home and property– that you own and don’t have some King coming in and taking all your shit, ever.

The end of this age is usually marked with becoming eligible to vote. Here in Canada you must be eight-teen years old to vote for someone who you’ve never met and probably does not represent you or your community in any particular or beneficial way. Being over the age of 18 also allows Canadians to drink alcohol in most provinces, and enter adult establishments. Compare going to a Montreal strip club with seeing the woman who helps you vote and you begin to understand why our voter turn out is so depressingly low. Less than half of eligible voters voting in elections should be unacceptable to everyone. This really makes no sense to me. When I go to vote I never have to wait. Even for ore than a minute really. Every time. Enough people should be voting that it takes 15 or 20 minutes of your day! It’s messed up, I know, but this is one instance where I would gladly wait much longer if I thought everyone who could, would participate in our little front of a democracy we do have… If voter turnout were 90% or higher, I’m sure it would keep politicians on their toes at least.

HOWEVER- Voting really isn’t relevant until we get to our next post on The Meaning of Life – Part IV – Adult Pleasures

General Tips on Being Canadian:

(not to be used by Russian spies, Chinese spies are cool though, we figure you’re already in charge and we accept)

  • Canada Day- Canadian Flag tattoos are necessary to show patriotism- don’t be a traitor!
  • Drive slow at night for fear of moose or deer encounters with your vehicle.
  • Poutine, poutine, poutine.
  • Smoking is not healthy. Unless its menthols- that shits better for you than garlic or Tylenol.
  • Toques during winter months are expected attire.
  • Sobeys (Or Safeway you Westerners) is where all food is purchased. Until my cousin was about 13 she thought they grew it all there.
  • Although our election process is unbelievably boring we do get U.S. Network TV and American politics are far more enjoyable to watch -like their sit-coms- for shock value(Herman Cain) and stunt-casting (Sarah Palin).

Mitt Romney is a rich, white, Mormon, millionaire, who used to be a bully in school, and spent his early adult hood closing down and merging American companies effectively laying off thousands of American workers for corporate profit. He is competing for the title of president of the United States of America against the most charismatic man to be introduced to the american public since… um, ever. He’s globally famous, an intellectual who was raised by a single mother. A family man with NO SCANDALS- take that, Anthony Weiner- And he’s funny. He might be the first funny president. Certainly for my short time on this Earth, he is. If the insane religious right get behind Romney and he somehow takes over the White house with his magic underpants and bigotry I will lose all faith in the American population. After the bailouts and everything else are they really going to elect a super-Millionaire for president?

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One thought on “The Meaning Of Life – PART III – ACADEMIC & SOCIAL FAILURES

  1. The Hook says:

    Who knew failure could lead to such a winning post?
    Good job!

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