The Meaning of Life – PART IV – ADULT PLEASURES

This phase of life is between the age of 18 and when you stop being “with it”. This is typically the most sexually active time in a person’s life (except with the rare “Granny Nympho”). This also means it is the time in most people’s lives when they will contract an Sexually transmitted Infection. STI’s (as they’re more commonly known) are usually found in the unwashed genitals of your local town whore- if you don’t know who it is, it may be you!- or on toilet seats in truck stop washrooms. At this point I would like to point out the sharp pang of irony I feel each time I enter a filthy, grimy and overwhelmingly smelly bathroom labelled “WASHroom”. Back to slut-diseases, though: You should always be on the lookout for crabs, the clap, and the dose. I’m unsure of what actual infections these street terms refer to, but be on the lookout just the same.

KNOWN CARRIERS OF SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS:

  • Nicki Minaj
  • 50 Cent
  • Madonna and her backup dancers
  • Ann Coulter (Could just be anorexia, but my money’s on AIDS) 
  • Stephen Hawking
  • Tim Tebow
  • Every cast member from Jersey Shore

*Based on appearance and hearsay only*

QUESTION OF THE DAY:

———-Do senior citizens still have oral sex? And can we make them stop it and stop it now?

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