Far too many people are procreating and all the wrong ones are repeat offenders. At MOST people should be having three kids, four if you have lots of money and you hate peace and quiet. It seems that the only people these days that have more children than that are Mormons or worse. Marriage is another issue and since Gay Marriage is such a hot topic I’ll avoid it for now and focus on something even more detrimental to society: Interracial Marriage. Who can worry about gays and lesbians marrying when out in the public sphere inter-racial marriages re being flaunted and celebrated in clear defiance of the word of the lord and every Texan’s grandparent. Who cares if two women want to marry each other– as long as they’re both same color, that’s what matters most.

The creation of children is a matter of heated debate, especially in the U.S. with the Christian right pressuring education boards across the nation to “teach the controversy” when it comes to conception and birth. “Intelligent Stork Theory” is being offered as a Christian alternative to what they call the “Godless Sex Theory”. Republican candidate Mitt Romney, at a recent speaking engagement for his campaign, stated that he too questioned why his nation’s children were “under sex attack” and that “information deviating from Intelligent Stork Theory should not be acceptable for Christian ears”. Later he vowed that when elected he plans to create a new Federal task force to oversee all states’ implementation of new Christian focused curriculum with an emphasis on the values of the Confederate South and the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola. He later said that he will never increase the size of the national government and will keep “big government out of the lives of Americans”. He ended by saying he was quite thirsty and couldn’t wait to get back into his Ford and drink a Coke.

Obviously I’ve avoided giving any sort of meaning to any of these parts of life but the meaning of this part of life is pretty clear: Not dying alone and having people younger than you to wipe your ass and care for you while you die with your equally useless mate.

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