Donald Trump and SNL’s Victoria Jackson say they have reason to believe so. Other experts from Liberty University have concluded the American president may very well be the disembodied spirit of a Kenyan, socialist witch. “With so much riding on this election,” said Trump “Can we really trust a dead, unpatriotic man to handle this economy? Forget about it. He’s fired.”
Polls are showing 46% of Americans think that Barack Obama is probably a ghost while only 16% say they are absolutely sure he’s a ghost. Victoria Jackson commented on Fox News: “We have a lot of very smart, smart people lookin’ their hardest to find B. Hussein Obama’s death certificate. He wasn’t just born in Africa, he died there, too, and we’re gonna prove it.” Victoria Jackson was once a member of the cast of Saturday Night Live before Jesus visited her in a subway terminal and commanded her to rebel against evil, talented liberals and the deniers of Christ and creation science. Jackson has described her relationship with Jesus Christ on facebook as “complicated”. “We are a nation that has been duped into electing a ghost!” She exclaimed just before the “Fair and Balanced” program went to commercial break.
A second independent poll showed that even more citizens than before, a whopping 21% of Americans, are absolutely sure Obama is in someway undead (with 13% of that number citing “spook”). This same poll however showed that 94% of all those polled were also absolutely sure that republican candidate, Mitt Romney, should to be kicked in the nuts repeatedly and spat upon.