Keeping Up with the Romneys

Secret documents obtained by RoyMinor reveal Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney’s, tax returns prior to 2010. Although there are many varied aspects of his return which will interest both the Obama campaign and the average voter, the most glaringly obvious problem with his return was the “Fuck the Poor” stamp he’d used at the bottom, right corner of each page of the return. His expenses listed are another concern. He cited costs of “Pet Grooming” for the year in 2008 as being $113, 000.00 and costs for his wife’s yearly vaginal rejuvenation were well into the millions. Other costs for the Romney’s, or any average American family as Mitt himself said, included an average yearly cost of $615,000.00 for sweaters and khakis, $228,950.00 for the all-important annual fresh coat of paint on the family jet, and the reasonable $28,500.00 in costs listed as “Hair Care”. Possibly his most luxurious annual charges were for a rare tooth-whitening service which uses the unformed teeth from aborted fetuses and the tears of orphans. Romney has not lost his common touch he said yesterday in an interview that he had recently “seen a city bus” and had once, as a boy, “shopped at a mall”.

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4 thoughts on “Keeping Up with the Romneys

  1. ws141 says:

    Love this. Had me on the floor!

  2. petriesan says:

    great satire! oh wait. . .this is satire, isn’t it? Wow, a lot of money on hair

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