The first gaffe of the third presidential debate happened shortly after Mitt Romney seated himself at the table and $250, 000.00 accidentally fell out of his pocket and onto the stage. While assisting the former Massachusetts Governor in picking up his fallen rubies and emeralds, President Barack Obama made the night’s second gaffe when he was spotted pocketing one of the nicer fist-sized diamonds.
Let’s face it, Obama must win this election lest the American people be saddled with a Mormon, millionaire President who will say whatever he has to win and will do whatever big business tells him to do. Please vote for Obama you obese, unemployed Americans! PLEASE!
In other news, Madonna continues her North American tour, her latest stop was in Dallas and tonight she’s in Houston, Texas. If you’ve ever wanted to see a cinqo-genarian get half-naked and rub her dried-up lady-parts the MDNA tour (NOT a reference to Mitochondrial DNA– Nerds!) may just be for you. Of course the diva will also thrill the crowd by grinding against 20-something drug addict look-a-likes and there will reportedly also be some singing. After 43 No. 1 songs and 12 studio albums you’ll want to see Madonna live now– while she still is under the impression that she’s relevant.
And another thing: How can we get Muslim women to stop dressing themselves in those oppressive, odd, and repellent bee-keeper suits?! I know that they say that this is about freedom of choice and freedom to dress oneself how they choose, but the truth of the matter is that they have made a serious virtue in their culture out of wearing this costume that only serves to make women invisible (until they need to be raped or stoned to death for being raped of course) and strip them of any individual identity that is not solely made-up of who she has married. If Islam’s garb of choice was more dramatic or revealing or bedazzled, I might be able to get on board with it… but any idea of a universally adopted dress-code (even if it’s only for the women) makes the scene instantly appear to be either very futuristic, very stone-aged (as in this case), or science-fiction-y(also a strong possibility). When I walk into a food court with more than 3 or 4 tables near me full of girls who are all wearing those things I feel very much like I’m at the cantina from Star Wars. When it all comes down to it dressing all women in ugly cloaks showing only their eyes is too strange for a non-Halloween event. JUDGEMENT: No more bee-keepers or Muslim hijab/burqa combinations! Let my edict ring throughout our nation! Take it off!