Tag Archives: Netflix

Hillbilly vs. February

BenderI'mBack

It has been awhile… again… and so I feel the need to type things to no one that are about nothing! I have a lot going on right now and haven’t been paying any attention to my blog lately. It isn’t that I didn’t have the time, or was travelling, or was up to anything newsworthy in any way. I still had plenty of time to facebook about cats and things they might say in broken English, watch everything on Netflix– except for anything worth watching, and work on my shrines to Oprah and Mel Gibson; I just didn’t feel like doing the blog thing, really.

What have I been up to? I have been at a very “no-frills” kind of college for about six months now and I guess it’s going alright. Because most of the other students are recovering meth addicts and various other adult, trailer-dwellers, my marks are sky-high! I just finished a month-long module on proof-reading, editing, and business communications that was the first and only module so far that wasn’t completely -I’M SORRY- retarded. The instructors seem to be whoever showed up the week they were hiring (what I must imagine to be) minimum-wage-earning instructors. The student lounge is far less appealing than our jail’s cafeteria’s, which I’ve seen in the paper and was jealous of. Location? Strip Mall. Neighboring Venues? Liquor Store, Bong Shop, Dollar Store. To keep things on a positive note, the instructor we had over the past month was AMAZING. Truly, a diamond in the rough. She was like an elderly Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds, but with no black people.

SPEAKING OF BLACK PEOPLE. February was black history month for some reason and I take this as a direct threat to racism everywhere! How is a poor, working, hillbilly in West Virginia supposed to make sure his kids are as racist as he is when they’ve got black people in your face for 28 straight days?! It is enough to make some want to load their shotguns– that  they bought with the freedom of the second amendment, with no background checks, and $200,  from the tailgate of a shifty yokel’s pickup– and take their country back!

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Funny Cats

I thought this title would drum up some views. Actual topic of discussion is friendship. I know I piss on a lot of things and I seem pretty hateful BUT there is one thing that I really love. FRIENDS. Not those shitty people who liked your status on facebook, and not the people at your work who you’re friendly with… I mean real friends that you are going to be friends with forever no matter what and it doesn’t matter how often you get to see each other, or what you do when you’re together. I had a visit from my two very best friends today. We all live in different cities an hour and half away from one another, and haven’t been in the same room since one of us got married last year around this time. Of course every time we all get together we vow to start doing a regular once a month thing, which never ends up happening, but it is nice to imagine. Our Friendship is lasting and true. We went to Kindergarten together (pre-grade 1) and were in the same class until late high school when we still had some of our classes together (usually on purpose). First year after high school two of us chose different campuses of the same university and the other went to community college in a third city. I stayed home for first year of University as a new teen dad waging an unholy war against the troll with custody of my perfect child. None of us finished the program we entered after high school. Now, one of them works at a very young, popular nightclub downtown, the other is a pharmacy tech working at the hospital and is busy settling into married life. Fortunately thus far (probably because we’re white and were raised Christian) none of us became dangerously dependent on drugs or alcohol or got AIDS. And none of us got raped, so that feminist’s lecture on date-rape was incorrect.

5 THINGS FRIENDS PROVIDE:

  1. Food.
  2. Sounding board for brilliant ideas–i.e. Stairway Book-Skis
  3. Relief from everyone else you know.
  4. Shoulder to cry on.
  5. Alibis- no questions asked.
I would still be friends with my real friends even if they killed every one of my other facebook friends. On this topic.. When is there going to be a “FaceBook Killer” who stalks people’s friends online and kills them in real life? I’m sure there’s already a very poorly acted, direct-to-Netflix movie about exactly this being produced as I type.
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My Way or the Highway

Lately I’ve been ignoring a friend of mine. Not on purpose, but it just became one of those things where I had to cancel one day, and then the next time I forgot completely and didn’t text until the day after that. Then I had to put it off again for a really legitimate reason. I feel bad, but I’m pretty busy watching Netflix and browsing the web. If there are two or three things that I have to do in a day it really leaves me no time for socializing after I water my plants and then look at them for a while. I have to fins time to feed the dogs and pet them and nap with them for a few hours. It’s rough! The cat has to be napped with separately because she won’t sleep with the dogs around– so that’s another hour at least. Lump that together with the nearly forty minutes I spend every day standing, staring blankly into rooms of my house wondering why I have entered them and I really cannot be blamed for missing out on so many outings and visits.

The Highway between where I live and where I grew up is so beautiful. The trip really is pretty nice if you go along the coast. It’s about three and a half hours and I rarely go. I think that my next mission will be to visit my parents and my hometown more often. It’ll be good for my son to see more of his relatives and enjoy some of the nature there before the white man ruins it. White Devils.

Why aren’t Canadian natives pissed off all the time about everything? It must be such a piss off to know that their ancestor’s for all knowable generations have lived off the land and were pretty happy and natural and good (for the most part). Then a bunch of pale blond demons come and fuck it all up. Christians ruin everything. Glad they did though, or I wouldn’t be here bitching about it on my personal computer in my suburban-style home with every imaginable convenience. It feels good to be right about everything.

8 Steps to Finishing What You Start:

  1. Have a clear plan of your desired end result.
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