The Meaning of… I gave up, okay?!

On to better newer things. I have decided that today will be the first day that I begin to go through nicotine withdrawal until I am completely rid of my smoking habit. After a very long… Very, very long-my partner would say… time I have decided to quit smoking for good and give up the delicious little white cylinders I adore so much. But not anymore. The love is gone, my smokey mistress has become to expensive to keep and too hazardous to my own health as well as those around me. I, like most people, hate having to be even slightly uncomfortable for even a moment. And NOT smoking is not in my comfort zone. It’s only been about an hour and I miss them knowing I’ll really start wanting them again soon. I figured that since I have been seriously neglecting my blog duties I can replace my smoking time with blogging time and I can use it to keep myself accountable– plus dick jokes. I’m sure I can think of things to write to keep my mind off of smoking.

TOP FIVE JOYS OF SMOKING:

1. The way the smoke comes out of you. All billow-y and unique each time and when the sun catches it just right it appears as though its a mist surrounding your mighty burning cigarette.
2. Opening a new pack of smokes. Quickly (or sensuously and slowly) unwrapping the little read band of plastic and popping them out of their hiding place…. Hmm.
3. Lighting them. Sparking up a match or a Bic and commanding the fire to ignite your cigarette and then you take the–
4. First Drag– and then the fire is in you before you release the aforementioned billow-y cloud of satisfying smoke… never the same twice.
5.  Last, long drag from a butt. Just before the end of the overwhelmingly joyful experience that is smoking a cigarette, the last pull from a dying flame bringing in the last of the sweet burnt mint and tobacco tasting smoke into your lungs before its expelled in the ever satisfying billow-y-ness.

…But I’m serious, guys, I’m officially a non-smoker. –Tobacco only I mean– Weed, hash, meth, and crack are still totally on the menu. 

Stay in school, don’t use drugs. Unless you can handle your drugs well enough to stay in school, then, like, why not do ’em, I guess…